Showing posts with label Christian Experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian Experience. Show all posts

Monday, November 7, 2022

Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness

(First posted on 21 Feb 2008)

This morning, the Lord brought the following verse to my mind:
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
I am thankful to God for His mercies and faithfulness throughout my life. As I considered afresh how He provided and led me through this part-time job assignment that just ended, I am once again amazed by God's love and mercies to unworthy me.

When I was first diagnosed with proneness to bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), it was a relief to me. I finally understood my confusing past where I have experienced some 10 or 11 episodes of severe depression that usually lasted between 3 months to 6 months or sometimes longer. I struggled to get through each day. I used to wonder what sins have I committed that I have to go through these punishment time and again. Whenever I am well, I do love the Lord, love His people and love to serve Him. It must be a great sin that landed me into severe depression each time, that was what I thought. Yet during such an episode of severe depression, no amount of soul-searching, repentance and cries can bring about deliverance. It was usually 3 to 6 months later that I began to get better and more functional. I thank God for preserving me through those very very difficult times and now finally enabling me to understand why.

My diagnosis helped me to realize that my severe and prolonged depression episodes are due to my proneness to bipolar disorder which is a medical condition that can be treated. No doubt various factors, internal and external, has brought about a relapse in depression. Most of the time could be due to stress and overstraining as I am some kind of a perfectionist in my character and though I have tried hard to change, it is not easy. So unknowingly I sometimes set rather high expectations of myself or goals that are unrealistic and I am doomed to fail in my own eyes when I don't meet up to those high expectations. These often happened unknowingly as I always strive to do my best. I just can't seem to understand my limitations and how much I can really do. This has something to do with the other side of bipolar ie. hypomania. Whenever I am well, I am usually on the hypomania side. Which means I have more energy, more ideas, more creative, more talkative, more friendly and tend to take on more projects than I can handle (without realizing it) and sleep/rest less. I also will be so engrossed or occupied with various things that I neglect exercise, breaks, recreation, hobbies and sometimes regular meals or healthy meals. After weeks or months of such hypomania, a severe depression will surely follow for another 3 to 6 months or so.

My diagnosis helped me to realized that bipolar can happen to anyone. And thank God for preserving me through those very difficult times in the past and delivering me each time. Each experience, confusing though they were, have been used of the Lord for my eternal good. Through every prolonged depressive episodes, I was thrown completely upon the Lord. I have no one else to turn to. No one understood what I was going through. I thank God that through those times, He led me to seek and search His Words and Truths to understand the importance of a right relationship with Him and the great work of sacrifice our Lord Jesus Christ has done when He laid down His life on the cross for us to redeem us from sins and eternal damnation. I thank God that these Truths became very precious to me through my darkest days. I wanted to know what I must do to be saved. During a depressive episode, all my thoughts and feelings became distorted and not functioning properly. I often couldn't feel my love for God, His Word or His people. Actually, I can't feel aright generally, but I didn't realize it. I thought I was surely not a sincere believer and probably even a reprobate. So through each difficult experience, I learn afresh to look unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith, to seek Him afresh and to know His love and forgiveness. So those very difficult times became great blessings as the Lord sanctified me, drew me closer to Him and enable me to experience His love and faithfulness experientially. God is very real to me because of these difficult experiences. Now I understand why the Psalmist said in Psalm 119:71:
"It is good for me to be afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes."
It was through my afflictions that I understand the true meaning of some of God's Words and promises.

But my diagnosis also brings about some difficulties. In the past when I was looking for a new job, I have had difficulties finding one due to my asthma condition. It is a requirement to declare my health condition in the job application form. There were times when I was rejected because they said my asthma condition is very serious as I am on long term medication. They didn't want me to be a liability to them. Actually, my asthma is not very serious. It is mild and persistent, and that is why I have to be on long term medication as I will be in danger of sudden asthmatic attacks that can lead to sudden death otherwise. But as long as I continue with my medication, I am fine most of the time. I only get asthmatic attacks during very very cold weather in December as it rains heavily in Singapore during that time. Or if the office's aircon is too cold, I will feel uncomfortable too. But I have made it a point to wear my sweater and so in the recent years, I have very few attacks. But even then it is so difficult to get a job because of my asthma.

God in His faithfulness, provided a job for me through my good friend, Dr Chin Ming Shu, who is a child psychologist helping children with special needs such as autism, dyslexia, speech delay, etc. Ming Shu is a Christian and a very kind friend. I was with her for the next 4 years plus until I left the job recently when I was severely depressed and could hardly work. At that time, providentially she had to scale down her work to attend to some family matters. I am thankful to God for Ming Shu's kindness to me over the years as she allows me flexibility in terms of my working hours and work. And she lightens my load whenever I went through depressive episodes. Being a child psychologist, she understood depression. So she never condemn me and she sympathized and prayed and encouraged me during such distressing time. I survived a few episodes while working with her and it was because of her kindness that I was able to continue working despite my depression. It was also through her promptings that I finally sought medical help in Dec 2006, and now able to manage my condition better with medical plus other helps. Thank God!

End of last year when I started to look for a new job, I encountered the same difficulties where my health declaration is involved. Now I have to declare not only asthma, but that I am on medication for manic-depressive illness or bipolar disorder. Once I declared that, I don't hear from them anymore. Mental illnesses is still very much a stigma in Singapore. But I thank God that through my friend, Grace, that I was offered this part-time job recently. And because it was a part-time assignment, I was not asked to fill up any application forms. So no one know about my medical condition and I was not rejected because of that. Thank God! Truly with Him all things are possible. Great is His mercies and faithfulness.

As I pray, look and await God's provision of another suitable job, I thank God for the assurance in my heart that He will provide for me in His time despite the great difficulties. I pray that He may enable me to once again testify of His goodness and mercies in His next provision of a job, and that I may continue to know Him and serve Him in my new job. Meanwhile, I really appreciate this little break once again :-).

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him." Psalm 62:5


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Thankful Thursday











My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73:26
Thank God for seeing me through another week. The last 1 week have been quite a difficult week for me as my health has not been good and I have gone through many difficult challenges. But thank God that though my flesh and my heart failed at times, God is the strength of my heart and my portion through the past 1 week and forever more. So I have many things to thank God for :-)

I am thankful to God for sustaining me daily and giving me grace and strength to live for Him. I am still learning to manage my condition. As you probably know, I suffer from a condition called bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness). This is a neurological and medical condition that can be treated. It alternates between manic and depression. There are pockets of time when I am more "normal" :-)

Besides medication there are various helps available in coping with my condition such as regular exercise, minimizing stress, healthy meal, regular sleep and recreation, etc etc. In the recent weeks, my health has been fluctuating as I am managing more stress in terms of my freelance work and other challenges in my life. The last few days have been particularly trying as I have been experiencing panic attacks due to some stressful situations. Stress and strained are my main triggering factors in my condition and so I am looking to the Lord daily for grace and wisdom to manage. I thank God for His faithfulness in seeing me through the many challenges and for strengthening me.

Thank God that His Words have bring great encouragement and comfort to me this week as I searched through them in the face of various challenges.

Thank God for the joy of worship and fellowship on the Lord's day. Thank God for a soul-searching message on maintaining a right relationship with God's children that will please God.

Thank God that the church Aunty who went through the surgery last Tuesday was able to come for worship last Lord's day and we had a blessed time of fellowship.

Thank God for family and friends who puts up with my many limitations and loved me just the way I am and help me to grow in many wonderful ways. Their love and support is precious to me. Thank God for my mother who takes such wonderful care of me even while I seek to care for her. Thank God for my sister's family for spending time with my mum and me this week.

Thank God for 2 friends who helped me to brain-storm some difficult decisions recently and helped me to learn and grow through these difficult experiences.

Thank God for enabling me to complete one freelance assignment ahead of time and enabling me to start on a new one now. Thank God for His provisions.

Thank God for providing for my daily bread and so many blessings in His wonderful ways, and through the kindness of His beloved people .

Thank God for Iris' labours of love in hosting Thankful Thursday.

Thank God for the joy of participating on Thankful Thursday. Reading the various encouraging Thankful Thursday posts on so many blogs have helped me to count my blessings and be more thankful. Sometimes when the road is tough and the days are difficult, it is easy to forget that God is still with us and have shower us with many blessings. So I am thankful to God that through Thankful Thursday I can step aside from the challenges of the day, the tiredness, the stress and whatever else, to just reflect upon God's blessings and goodness to me. Praise Him that I do have many things to be thankful for!

Thank God for all of you, my dear blogging friends, other friends and readers, for stopping by, reading my posts and encouraging me by sharing with me your thoughts and reflections either via comment or email.

Thank God for the many blogs that I can visit daily and all the encouragements I derived from your blogs. Thanks for sharing your life with me. It is so wonderful to find such friendships and support online. God be praised!

How about you? How has the Lord blessed you through the past week?

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a blessed and thankful day!

For more participants of Thankful Thursday, do visit Iris at Sting My Heart. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Thankful Thursday


For more participants of Thankful Thursday, do visit Iris at Sting My Heart. It will be a very blessed and spiritually uplifting experience for you!




O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. Psalm 107:1

Thank God for seeing me through another week. I have many things to be thankful for :-)

1. Thank God for the encouragements He has given to me through the videos of Nick Vujicic. Nick is from Australia and he was born with no arms or legs yet he is trusting in the Lord daily and living a life that is not only as normal as he can, but he is also doing many wonderful things too by the mercies and power of God. He is a living testimony of the power of God to save a lost sinner from sins and give him the grace to live a victorious life in Christ despite severe infirmities. Seeing Nick going about his daily life, doing all the things which seems almost impossible without arms and legs, and yet he did it and did it with such cheerfulness, is a life changing experience for me! It helps me to look beyond my own infirmities and limitations to the power of God and the sufficiency of His grace. It helps me to count my blessings!

2. Thank God for a very blessed Lord's day of worship and fellowship. Thank God for a very powerful message from Ephesians 2:8-10 in which I am reminded afresh that we are saved by grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. This message reminds me that God is the Potter and I am the clay. God is my Creator and He is doing a deeper work in me daily so that I can serve Him and be what He wants me to be. I thank God for every opportunity to serve Him in little ways.

3. I am thankful to God for hearing the prayers of my church for a very dear couple in our church who has been going through a very severe trial in their life over the last few months. Thank God for delivering them and sustaining them and answering our prayers in His very wonderful ways. They are still facing much difficulties and trials at the moment, but we are comforted that God is working all things for His glory and their good, and His grace is sufficient for them. Thank God that my church can grow in our walk with Him and our friendship with this couple through this trial.

4. I thank God for giving me much grace and strength to go through a very stressful situation last week. I had a panic attack when that incident happened and I prayed to the Lord to grant me wisdom to know how to handle that difficult situation. I prayed too for His peace to guard my heart as I experienced great anxieties. The panic attack lasted for 10 minutes. Thank God for granting me grace to cope and everything turned out okay. Thank God for restoring peace to me too when the panic attack subsided.

5. Thank God for His mercies in providing yet other freelance job opportunities to me. These are small and manageable freelance opportunities, and I am thankful for each one of them. Thank God for His wonderful provisions.

6. Thank God that I managed to use my passion in making bookmarks to help a church friend to make 40 bookmarks for his students who are taking their exams soon. I am glad to be able to help my friend and earn some income too through this hobby which I enjoyed very much.

7. Thank God that my medical review with my Doctor on Monday when on very well. My Doctor is monitoring my medicine level and she is pleased with my progress so far. She is also helping me to trace possible triggering factors of my condition and is teaching me how to identify them and manage them. Thank God for a caring and kind Doctor.

I gave a bouquet of artificial roses to my Doctor 4 months ago when I saw her. She liked it very much and many of her patients have commented that the roses are so beautiful and they looked so real. On Monday, my Doctor shared with me that she has given those lovely flowers to a very sickly lady who was hospitalised. Those roses brought so much cheer and comfort to the sick lady. My Doctor apologized that she has to give my gift to her away but she knows that I will not mind. I was very moved by my Doctor's kindness in giving away something that she likes very much and I am so glad that the gift is able to cheer someone in need. I told her that I am glad she pass it on. Little things can mean a lot to some people. And this dear sickly lady cherished those roses so much and she said whenever she feels down, she look at those flowers and think of how she is loved by others. Such a joy to know that. Joy is always doubled when we pass it on :-)

8. I am thankful for my other blogging friends and penpals who keep up visiting, commenting and writing with me. It is always encouraging to hear from all of you, to read your blog or email. May God continue to bless our friendships. Thanks to all of you for stopping by.

9. I am thankful for many new friends I am getting to know through Word-Filled Wednesday and Thankful Thursdays. Thank you all for stopping by and your kind comments! Reading all the precious promises of God with the lovely photos that you have posted on your blogs is very uplifting. And reading the many thankful items you have posted also helps me to be more thankful daily :-) Thanks for stopping by.

10. Thank God for His goodness and mercies daily, and for giving me much strength and joy in Him. I am thankful for my family, church friends and other friends who continue to love me and encourage me through all the changing scenes in life.

Sorry, my posts are always pretty long :-) I have so many things to be thankful for :-)

How about you? How has the Lord blessed and guide you through the week? What are the things you are thankful for over the week?

Thank you for stopping by. Do drop me a comment if you can and it will make my day!

Hope you have a blessed day!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

More than conquerors

I have decided to change my blog name :-)

When I first started this blog in February 2008, I named it "My Life with Bipolar Disorder" because I wanted to share resources that have been helpful to me in coping with bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) with others who have bipolar disorder and their family/friends. Having bipolar disorder can be very confusing for the sufferer as well as their family and friends.

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder with extreme mood swings. It is a medical condition that can be treated. These moods shaped our thoughts, feelings and actions. We can be 2 very different persons when we are manic or depressed. There are pocket of times when we are "normal" :-)

Being depressed is bad enough in itself, but being a depressed Christian is worse because we experience extra guilt in relation to our faith. So if you are suffering from depression and you are a Christian, I will highly recommend that you read these very encouraging and helpful messages on Depression and the Christian. Pastor David P Murray noted that

The depressed believer cannot concentrate to read or pray. He doesn’t want to meet people and so may avoid church and fellowships. He often feels God has abandoned him.

Moreover, it is often the case that faith, instead of being a help, can actually cause extra problems in dealing with depression. There is, for instance, the false guilt associated with the false conclusion, “Real Christians don’t get depressed.” There is also the usually mistaken tendency to locate the cause of mental illness in our spiritual life, our relationship with God, which also increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness.
We need to have a right understanding of clinical depression or manic-depression. This is different from the common down or sad feelings that go away after a few day. Clinical depression and manic-depression are medical illness that need to be treated. And people who go through them need to be supported, prayed for and encouraged to seek treatment and wait upon God for restoration through medical and other helps.

As Christians, we surely want to be the person whom our loved ones turn to in time of need. And, when they do turn to us, we want to be able to help them and not hurt them further.
It is, therefore, imperative that family and friends of people who suffers from clinical depression or bipolar depression learn about depression and other mental illnesses in order to avoid the very common mistakes that lay-people often make when dealing with the mentally ill, and in order to be of maximum benefit to those who are suffering. I hope the resources I am sharing on this blog will help Christian who suffers from depression to find hope and comfort in God, and to seek medical and other helps so that they too can lead a more stable and functional life. And I hope too that the sharing and resources on this blog will to some extend help family and friends of people with depression or bipolar to understand what their loved ones are going through and how best to pray for them, to encourage and support them, or help them in time of need.

Personally, I went through some 11 episodes of severe depression over the last 20 years, each episode lasting some 3 to 6 months or sometimes longer. Thank God for sustaining me through those very painful, dark and confusing experiences.

Thank God that my diagnosis last year of proneness to bipolar disorder is helping me to understand that my condition is a medical condition that can be treated and the necessity to seek helps. Through 9 very fruitful sessions with a Christian counsellor last year who counsels me using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), I was helped to understand my confusing past due to the way bipolar shaped my thoughts, feelings and actions.

Thank God that now with medical helps, regular exercise, Omega 3 fish oil, managing stress level, having therapeutic hobbies, a strong support network and other coping means my condition is under control now and I am able to live a more stable and useful life. I also read the Bible and pray daily for strength and grace from God to live for Him joyfully and serve Him despite my condition and limitations. I thank God for joy in Him daily as I experience His love and mercies in many wonderful ways.

I thank God that I am able to share my thoughts and feelings on this blog too and it works like an online Journal or Diary for me to record my daily experiences in my walk with God and His goodness to me as I seek to understand and manage bipolar disorder. Like every one else who has bipolar, I too experience many different struggles daily with manic and depression. Stress and strain seemed to be my main triggering factors over the years. So this blog also will record my struggles to manage bipolar, stress and other challenges in my life.

In these recent months of sharing my thoughts and feelings in my journey with bipolar disorder, I have come to experience more and more that we are more than conquerors through Christ that loved us. In life we will have our portions of ups and downs whether through bipolar disorder or other struggles in our life. We are living in a fallen world. As sinners saved by grace, we daily wrestle too with sins, remaining corruptions and the temptations of the world. Having bipolar disorder can make life very difficult at times because bipolar shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. The depression episodes are painful and awful beyonds words. I would not want to go through another extensive episode if possible. The manic episodes too have its pros and cons. But in all these, I am comforted that God is sovereign. He is graciously working all things for His glory and my good even through such painful and difficult struggles with bipolar.

I found that it is through the very difficult experiences I have gone through over the last 20 years with this disorder that I am able to know God very personally and able to know His love in many wonderful ways. And bipolar disorder do have its advantages and it's not all bad at all. By the mercies of God, I have been able to experience many blessings through bipolar and God also opened an unexpected door of usefulness for me through bipolar. My struggles with depression enable me to emphatise with others who are going through this painful and lonely struggle. It allows me to comfort others with same comfort which God has comforted me. It gives me the motivation to share with others the resources and the various ways and means God is helping me to manage my condition so that others can benefit from it too. It helps me to cherish the life God is giving me daily to know Him, love Him and serve Him and others.

Most people with bipolar tends to be able to express ourselves better in writing and other creative activities. In the recent months, I began to enjoy Photography, Making Bookmarks and other Homemade Crafts and Gifts. These hobbies are therapeutic to myself and they encourages others as I usually share these with others. I have a blog "Around Singapore" where I posted photos of some places in Singapore. Do click at the links if you wish to make use of my photographs and that which my friends allowed me to post on my blogs. Feel free to also download Free Bookmarks Templates from my Homemade Bookmarks blog and other crafts idea from my Homemade Crafts and Gifts blog.

When I saw the moving testimony of Nick Vujicic, I was reminded afresh that God is sovereign and His purposes are accomplished through weak vessels like us. Nick is from Australia and he was born with no arms or legs yet he is trusting in the Lord daily and living a life that is not only as normal as he can, but he is also doing many wonderful things too by the mercies and power of God. He is a living testimony of the power of God to save a lost sinner from sins and give him the grace to live a victorious life in Christ despite severe infirmities. Nick encouraged us to look beyond our loses through our disabilities to look at what we still have and make the most out of it. Seeing Nick going about his daily life, doing all the things which seems almost impossible without arms and legs, and yet he did it and did it with such cheerfulness, is a life changing experience. If you have not seen the videos of Nick, you may wish to watch these 2 videos I have posted on my blog and there are many more posted on YouTube. It will change your life or your perspective in life! I am thankful to my friend Michelle who posted Nick's video on her blog and shared such blessings with us. Thanks again, Michelle!

I am thankful to God that we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us because God's Words say so. Though we are weak, God is strong. He promised that His grace is sufficient for us and His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). God is more powerful than any storms in our life or any difficulties we may face. He is the Potter, we are the clay. This is not our home. We are sojourners here on a pilgrim journey towards the celestial city. God is daily sanctifying us and making us more and more like our Lord Jesus Christ.

I thank God that His grace is sufficient for me and nothing shall ever separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Though I still have many struggles daily with bipolar, stress, etc etc, I am learning to look to God for grace daily and to wait upon Him for guidance and strength.

I hope I can continue to share of God's goodness and mercies to me daily in my endeavour to understand and manage bipolar and other challenges in my life and lead a more useful life for the Lord.

If you are going through depression now and you are reading this post, I pray that God will give you comfort and strength, knowing that He is with you and will deliver you. Do seek medical and other helps as these are means God has provided for us to get better so that we can seek and serve Him. Your thoughts and feelings may feel flat and down because of the chemical imbalances and you may have little energy to do anything or even to seek help. But continue to cry unto the Lord and reach out to someone to let them know you need help. There is hope and help. It takes time to find the medical and other helps that will suit you as there is a spectrum to bipolar and depression and different thing works for different people. But you are not alone! I and many others are battling this condition daily and you will find something that works for you. God will help you by and by to discover these helps as you cast your cares upon Him. With medical and other helps, sometimes it still takes time for these to work for us and to restore the chemical imbalance in our brain so that we are more functional and able to enjoy life again. Waiting is difficult. But you will get better by and by.

And thank you once again, all my dear friends, for all your prayers, encouragements and support. To get to know so many of you through this blog and your blogs, is one of the greatest blessings God has given me over the last few months! I have never expected this at all. My endeavour to help others through this blog turned out to be a greater blessing for me. All praise and glory be to God!

Hope we can continue to encourage one another and find our consolations in Christ and each other's friendship as we journey on :-)

Romans 8:36-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Thankful Thursday

For more participants of Thankful Thursday, visit Iris at Sting My Heart.










Yesterday, I participated in my first Word-Filled Wednesday. It's a very wonderful experience~ I am greatly encouraged to read of so many precious portions of God's Words and how these have encouraged various people in different stages of their life. Truly, we do not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God! And the photos are all so beautiful. Do visit Amy at The 160 Acre Woods for a list of people participating on Word-Filled Wednesday and read these encouraging verses and see the lovely photos.

Today, I am participating in my first Thankful Thursday :-)

I have so many things to be thankful for daily that I thought it's good for me to start putting them down every Thursday otherwise I will forget. It's good to count our blessings daily and to remember that God is working all things for His glory and our good, and the good of His church. God is gracious to me though I am a forgetful person. I realized that even in very difficult, painful and dark days, we can find something to thank God for because He is our Redeemer and our God. His love and mercies is from everlasting to everlasting, and underneath us is His everlasting arms.

The last few weeks have been very tiring, stressful and busy weeks for me. I have many things to thank God for.

1. I thank God for giving me grace to know Him, love Him, walk with Him and serve Him. Knowing God through our Lord Jesus Christ is the best thing that has happened to me in this life and it is still the best thing that is happening to me daily. Thank God for saving me from my sins and giving me a new life in Christ.

2. I thank God for the joy of worship and fellowship last Lord's day. It is always refreshing to be in the house of God to participate in public worship together with God's people and to enjoy their fellowship.

3. I thank God for giving me strength and wisdom to cope with the challenges daily. There have been many challenges over the last few weeks and I will not have the strength to cope if not for the Lord's strengthening me day by day. I often feel very tired and weak but thank God for sustaining me daily. I have found that God's grace is sufficient for me each day as He has promised! Thank and praise Him!

4. I thank God for giving me joy in Him despite physical tiredness and mental stress. My flesh and my heart fail me at times, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. In Christ, I am able to rejoice daily and accept all things as from His loving hands.

5. I thank God for enabling me to complete 2 freelance assignments on time. Thank God for wisdom and strength to do my best for these freelance job assignments. One of my customer gave a very kind and encouraging comment to acknowledge her appreciation of my work. I am so encouraged by God's goodness in helping me to do a good job.

6. I thank God for providing more freelance job assignments for me. Thanks to those of you who have been praying for me. Thank God for His faithfulness in hearing and answering our prayers. I have just been given new freelance assignments! Truly, the Lord is our Shepherd and we shall not want (lack). He provides for our every need. Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragements!

7. I thank God for family and friends who love, accept and care for me in big ways and little little ways. These mean a lot to me. I thank God for all of them, and they are tokens of God's love for me.

8. I thank God for all of you, my dear blogging friends. It is such a joy and privilege to know all of you and to be able to share our experiences and encourage one another through our blogs. I have never expected this when I first started my blog in February 2008. This has been one of the best experience I ever have in making online friends. You are tokens of God's love for me too and I am greatly encouraged. Thank you once again for being my friends and for being such a blessing and encouragement to me. May God bless all of you abundantly!

I pray that God will give me a thankful heart daily no matter what I am going through. I am a pilgrim here, sojourning on a pilgrim journey towards the celestial city. I pray that God will enable me to set my heart and affection on things above and not on things below here. I pray that I may be able to serve God and glorify Him here, and be used of Him as an instrument to draw sinners to know His saving grace and be an encouragement to fellow Christians who are precious in God's sight and redeemed by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.

In this life, I may face many different and difficult challenges, my bipolar may also give problem through manic or depression. But God's love remains unchanging and His grace is sufficient for me. He is lovingly working all things for His glory and my good, and the good of His church. I pray that He may give me a thankful heart always so that I can praise Him in all circumstances.

How about you? How has the Lord blessed and helped you through the past week? What are the things you are thankful for? We serve such a great God. Let us unite our hearts in thanksgiving to such a loving and faithful Saviour Who never leave us nor forsake us, and nothing shall ever separate us from His love.

All praise and glory be to God!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

We are more than conquerors through him that loved us

Thank God for the joy and privilege of worship and fellowship again today. Every such opportunity is always very refreshing and uplifting.

Today's worship particularly lifted up my spirit as I was very tired and stressed up yesterday. Thank God for the comfort of His Words and the assurance that He is able to still any storms in my life. My Pastor shared many encouraging portions from the Word of God. But one verse he referred to especially cheered my heart. It was from Romans 8 verse 37:

".... we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37

My Pastor encouraged us that though we have many difficulties in this life, we are more than conquerors through our Lord Jesus Christ who loved us. He has come to live, suffered and died for us. He has conquered and is conquering. His grace is sufficient for me. Thank God for strengthening my heart through this reminder!

My Pastor also printed in our church bulletin his very encouraging sharing from Psalm 42 on "The righteous one in his weariness, looking up". My Pastor shared:

One of the things which I learn from this psalm, for example, is to talk to my soul when I am depressed.

David does that in verse 5—

5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Notice that I said: “Talk to my soul,” not “talk with my soul.” When you are depressed, you must not talk with your soul. If you do that you will spiral further into depression. You must rather talk to your soul. David, under inspiration, shows us how. Ask your soul why you are cast down. No, no; don’t wait for an answer. That would be to talk with your soul. When you ask your soul why he is cast down, you must ask in a way that suggests that he has no good reason to be cast down! Then exhort your soul to hope in God, to believe Him that help is nigh and He will soon lift up His countenance upon you.
I am learning to talk to my soul and exhort it to hope in God :)

A friend also reminded me that I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:13).

Michelle's hugs gave me a lot of warmth from the Lord :)

Thank God that no matter what we may have to go through in this life, we can have the assurance of His love and presence with us. We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us and we are more than conquerors through Him. What a comfort and encouragement to me! Thank God.


I took picture of these beautiful flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The stiller of my soul

This afternoon, I felt very tired and rather stressed by certain things that have happened, and I felt rather down subsequently. I just couldn't seemed to think clearly and have to go to rest and just stopped whatever I was doing. I poured out my heart to God in prayers, telling Him how tired and afraid I felt. I know He cares for me and all things are under His control.

Sometimes the future seemed so uncertain. Others seemed to think that I am thinking too much of bipolar that maybe it will help if I just don't think about it and do something else. But how can they understand that bipolar is a part of me and to some extend my strong enemy. Unless I understand bipolar and how it is affecting me, I will be overcome and I will feel very helpless again.

I am still learning to manage my condition. I do still have much trouble learning to manage my body and mind. Whenever I am better, I am usually a little manic. Recently, I have been having more energy and doing more things. I am thankful to God that I can serve Him in small ways and these bring great joy to me to know that I can still serve our Lord and be useful despite my condition.

But I do still have much problem coping with stress and strain. As my body and mind doesn't quite synchronize, by the time I am conscious of it, my body and mind becomes too tired. I seemed to be experiencing the effect of it now. I have tried hard to slow down but still feel very very tired daily. I do get stressed up rather easily now. I fear these are symptoms that my condition is worsening. I pray that God may enable me to rest in Him daily and seek His grace to cope, and not in my own strength.

How I love to go to the beach and watch the seas and the waves. Somehow they have such a calming effect on me. I am reminded always that God Who creates the heaven and the earth, the sea and the waves, is caring for me daily. No matter what storms I may experience in this life, He is with me and His grace is sufficient for me. He Who still the storms for His disciples, can calm any storms in my life. How I look to Him Who loved me and gave His life for me!

Augustine said in his famous Confessions, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord." Truly, it is in God that I found rest for my soul.



I took this photo and video of the waves at t East Coast Beach, Singapore.


God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

Yesterday, I shared about how God's presence and His Words have been a comfort to me in my struggles with severe depression in bipolar disorder. Even though at times due to severe depression in which my brain was not able to receive the appropriate messages and I could not think or feel aright, God is still with me, He sustains me through very difficult, painful and lonely experiences and I found comfort from Psalm 130 in which I am reminded that as I cried unto the Lord from the depths of the pit I was in, the Lord will deliver me. Thank God for His mercies and faithfulness that usually after 3 or 6 months of such sufferings, the Lord delivered me and the chemical in my brain were restored, I am once again able to enjoy prayers, reading the Bible, public worship, fellowship, my family, my friends, my work, my hobbies, etc etc.

Jenalexa commented that she is glad to hear that I know in the deepest part of my heart, God loves me and I know he is there no matter what mood state I am in. She felt that this is a great testimony to others who suffer with depressive states and feel judged or condemned while in that condition.

Paula said she too finds it very difficult to enjoy things during depression. Then, she feels guilty for that and it just makes her feel worse. Thank God that He understand everything about us, even though we often don't understand ourself. She found that it's when she just let go and cry to God from the depths of her heart that she finds the most release.

It is sad that sometimes Christian are condemned for going through severe depression even when the nature of it is biological or due to a mood disorder. It is a mercy that God understands and allows this thorn in our flesh for His glory and our good. And He loves and cares for us, sustains and delivers us in His time.

Dr David P Murray did 6 very encouraging and information videos on "Depression and the Christian". In his first message on "Depression and the Christian : The Crisis", he spoke about the impact depression will have our spiritual life:

"We might say that there are three main elements in our make-up that affect our overall well-being: our body, our soul, and our mind (our thoughts). These are not three watertight and disconnected entities. There is considerable overlap and connectivity. When our body breaks down, it affects our spiritual life and our thinking processes. When our spiritual life is in poor condition, our thoughts are affected, and often our bodily health and functions also. It is therefore no surprise that when our mental health is poor, when our thinking processes go awry, that there are detrimental physical and spiritual consequences.

The depressed believer cannot concentrate to read or pray. He doesn’t want to meet people and so may avoid church and fellowships. He often feels God has abandoned him.

Moreover, it is often the case that faith, instead of being a help, can actually cause extra problems in dealing with depression. There is, for instance, the false guilt associated with the false conclusion, “Real Christians don’t get depressed.” There is also the usually mistaken tendency to locate the cause of mental illness in our spiritual life, our relationship with God, which also increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness."


How true that we often mistakenly thought that our depression is due to something wrong in our relationship with God, which increases false guilt and feelings of worthlessness. The truth is for those of us with mood disorders such as bipolar or major depression, our depression is due to some chemical imbalance in our brain which cause our brain not able to send or receive appropriate messages. We can't think or feel aright generally, including spiritually.

And sometimes, sadly, our conditions can be made worst by others, even our loved ones and friends, who do not understand what we are going through and simply accused us of not trusting in God, etc etc. It is particularly difficult for Christians as we get blamed excessively for sin and lack of trust in God when we are in fact trusting in God despite our pains and sufferings, and looking to Him for mercies and deliverance.

Dr David P Murray also spoke about this widespread misunderstanding on depression:

“Being depressed is bad enough in itself, but being a depressed Christian is worse. And being a depressed Christian in a church full of people who do not understand depression is like a little taste of hell.”

As we all know there is a terrible stigma attached to mental illness. This is the result of widespread misunderstanding about its causes, its symptoms, and the “cures” available. Some of the misunderstanding is understandable. Unlike cancer or heart disease or arthritis, there is no scan or test which can visibly demonstrate the existence of depression/anxiety. It is a largely “invisible” disease. We want to be able to point to something and say, “There’s the problem!” When we can’t, we often wrongly conclude, “There is no problem!” Or, if we are Christians, we may, usually wrongly, conclude, “My spiritual life is the problem!”

This misunderstanding is addressed in the excellent book, I’m not supposed to feel like this (a book written by a Christian pastor, a Christian psychiatrist, and a Christian lecturer in psychiatry). Near the beginning of the book, they summarise what they believe and what they do not believe about depression:

“What we believe: We believe that all Christians can experience worry, fear, upset and depression. We also believe that being a Christian does not prevent us or our loved ones from experiencing upsetting and challenging problems such as illness, unemployment, or relationship and other practical difficulties.

What we do not believe; Although at times we all choose to act in ways that are wrong and this can lead to bad consequences for us and for others, we do not see anxiety and depression as always being the result of sin; neither do we

believe that mental health problems are the result of a lack of faith.”

It is absolutely vital for Christians to understand and accept that while mental illness usually has serious consequences for our spiritual life, mental illness is rarely caused by problems in our spiritual life.

Truly, there is still much misunderstandings about depression and bipolar depression even among Christians. It is often ascribed to a weakness in our character, our being too emotional, our lack of faith in God or our sins. There are times when these are true but they are not always so. Thank God that even when we don't understand what we are going through during a severe depression episode due to our mood disorders or other reasons, and others judged or condemn us or misunderstood us, God's love for us remains unchanging and He understands and cares for us. He gives us grace and strength, and delivered us in His time.

Thank God that now my family and friends are more understanding and supportive. I am thankful to God for their love and kindness as they seek to understand my condition and bear with me in my weaknesses and struggles with this chronic mood disorder. I know that at times it can be very difficult, confusing and frustrating for our family, loved ones and friends as they could not understand our behaviours or what we are going through. Thankfully there are many helps available to on how family members and friends can help to understand and care for their loved ones with mood disorder. Thank God for family and friends who cared enough to study depression and how best they can love their loved ones through this condition.

I am thankful to God that He is with me always and He has provided many people who love and accept me, including my many blogging friends! I found that though my flesh and my heart failed at times and others also misunderstood me, God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever. What a mercy!




I took picture of these beautiful flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Come unto me....and I will give you rest

I was rather manic recently, as you can see :) I have been writing long posts to share my thoughts and feelings which is therapeutic to me. Sometimes I also write long emails to share with some friends. I do have racing thoughts on most days and find it especially a relief to be able to share on this blog. Thanks all my dear blogging friends and readers, for dropping by and share my experiences. Thanks for all your prayers and encouraging comments! It's a joy to get to know all of you and to be able to mutually encourage one another and support one another as we strive to manage our bipolar disorder or depression so that we can be more functional and useful.

I am thankful to God for His mercies and faithfulness in answering my prayers and providing some freelance assignments for me. It is because I am able to work freelance that I am able to continue to write and share my experiences and God's goodness to me on this blog.

As I am rather manic, I do still have problem slowly down. I know I need to slow down and pace myself moderately as past experiences have taught me that prolonged manic and hyper-activity will lead to a severe depression episodes that can last for months at ends.

I have been very occupied in these days doing 2 freelance job assignments, developing my blogs, doing volunteer work for my church and making bookmarks for my church friends. I do enjoy these very much and sometimes lost track of time, or forget to take short breaks in between. I have been feeling rather tired at the end of each day for the last 2 weeks. I know these are early signs that I am over-straining myself. I am trying to slow down and take rests in between. I do pray that God may grant me wisdom to manage my time and strength so that I don't fall into severe depression again.

Today I felt very tired even in the afternoon and had to take a nap, which I don't usually do. As I laid down to rest, I commit myself unto the Lord. I asked for His grace to help me to cope with each day in His strength and not to over-strain. I am reminded that my strength and joy is in Him and I pray that He will not let me forget Him or let any work/activities let priority in my life.

I thank God for the joy of seeking Him in prayers and devotions every morning and evening. This evening, the Lord encouraged me with the following passages from Matthew 11:

Matthew 11:28-30

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


Thank God that when I feel tired and weary after a long day, I can come before our Lord in prayers and commit myself, my family, my church, my work, etc etc to Him, and find rest in Him. It is truly blessed to belong to the Lord Jesus Christ, to have the assurance that all things are in His hands. I must not worry or be overly anxious but learn to cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me. Thank and praise Him.


"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28


I took this flower at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee

Thank God that He is my help and strength daily.

Before my diagnosis of bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) last year, I have gone through some 10 to 11 episodes of severe depressions which often lasted some 3 to 6 months or longer. During those very distressing times, I didn't know that my condition is a medical condition that can be treated. I hid my sufferings most of the time because of the terrible stigma associated with depression even among Christians. I am thankful to God for preserving me through those very difficult and painful times, and extremely lonely and confusing time. Now, I found comfort in the knowledge that God loves me and is working all things for His glory and my good even through this chronic illness.

I thank God that now my family, church and friends are more understanding and supportive. Bipolar disorder can be very confusing to our family and friends. They not only caused much distress to us, but to people around us as well. Thank God for helping my family and friends to be more very understanding, supportive, prayerful and kind. One of the purpose of my developing this blog is also to share with family and friends of people with bipolar disorder or depression, so that carers and friends can know how best to help someone with mood disorders.

Pastor David P Murray, who did 6 very information and useful videos on "Depression and the Christian" said in his 6th message on "The Carer":

As Christians, we surely want to be the person whom our loved ones turn to in time of need. And, when they do turn to us, we want to be able to help them and not hurt them further.

It is, therefore, imperative that we learn about depression and other mental illnesses in order to avoid the very common mistakes that lay-people often make when dealing with the mentally ill, and in order to be of maximum benefit to those who are suffering.

Thank God that He has provided family and friends who care and willing to learn about our conditions so that they can be of maximum benefit to us. These are tokens of God's love and goodness to us.

Even at times when family or friends failed to understand or support us, we may have the comforting assurance that God cares. He Who loved us enough to send His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to live, suffered and died for us, continues to love us and care for us daily. And very often, His presence and faithfulness is most experienced in our darkest day. We would never have been able to survive without Him!

How comforting to remember that the Lord is with us. When we passed through deep waters or go through the fires, He is with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us. May we rest in His love and faithfulness when reasons, feelings and even faith fails us. We rest in Him and look to Him alone, and not even to our faith which is often weak.

May God's love through our Lord Jesus Christ brings you comfort and sweet peace today :)






I took this picture of the waves at Changi Beach, Singapore.

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee." Isaiah 41:1-2

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

Thank God for the joy and privilege to join in my church's public worship again this morning and to fellowship with my friends. My Pastor shared a very encouraging sermon with us on the theme "The Fear of the Lord" (Proverbs 1:7).

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge:..." Proverbs 1:7

Today, Pastor JJ shared with us that the basis of our fear of the Lord is:

1) The LORD is our God and our Creator
The LORD is self-existent and He depends on no one for His existence. On the other hand, we are fully dependant on Him for our existence, life and motion. Our lives are in the hands of God.

2) The LORD is a holy God
God's holiness exposes our earthiness and uncleanness.

3) The LORD is a covenant God
God Who is self-existent, transcendent and holy has chosen to reveal Himself unto a people and adopted them to be His sons and daughters. God chose to reveal Himself to us so that we can know Him and be adopted as His children. God is our covenant making and covenant keeping God and He draws us near to Himself, by sending His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to live and died for us, so that we may know Him.

When we come to know and understand who God is, we are drawn to love and reverent Him. The fear we have of God is a fear that causes us to know our own unworthiness and makes us want to respect and please God, and makes us fear to sin against Him. It is a fear that causes us to love God just as a child would love his father with respect.


This encouraging message reminds me once again of God's mercies to me in leading me to seek and know Him about 20 years ago. Through an episode of severe depression, and finding life meaningless, the Lord has providentially used my circumstances to lead me to seek Him.

I was born in Malaysia and I grew up there. More than 20 years ago, I came to Singapore on my own to work. With unrealized ambitions, and seeing the deceitfulness of human heart, I was very disillusioned. I wasn't interested in the rat race I saw around me in my job. I was disappointed with the fragile human friendships I experienced then too. Life seemed so meaningless. Providentially, as I love reading, I came across a book in the library in which several Christians testified to living a very meaningful life because they had a personal relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. I have always believed there is a God but never felt the need to be "religious." But at that point of time, I seemed to have come to an end in myself. I was far away from home and family. I was not able to realized my ambitions and disillusioned by friendships. I wondered whether life was worth living. But that book opened my eyes to realized that what if there is really a God? What if God really loves me and is interested in my life? And He has made me for a purpose? Which means my existence is not by accident? Wouldn't that makes life meaningful? I have never really prayed before. But that evening, I prayed and asked God to lead me to know Him through my 2 colleagues who have been witnessing to me. By God's mercies, He used these 2 brothers to bring me to church. They gave me a Bible and I began to read, go to Church for public worship and I pray on my own too. As I read the Bible, I was moved by the love of God for lost sinners. For the Bible says, that

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

To know that God loved me and sent His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to live and died for me, was very encouraging to me. Though I found much disappointment in human friendships, I found much consolations in God's love. I read with wonder of how the Lord suffered and died on the cross for us. Who will lay down his life for another man? But our Lord laid down His life for us, to save us from our sins, by paying the penalty for our sins, so that we can have our sins forgiven by the cleansing of His precious blood and we can enjoy eternal life in Him. What a comfort!

My life was never the same again. Though I continue to experience about 10 to 11 severe depression episodes thereafter until my diagnosis last year, because I didn't know that I have this condition called bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), the Lord's love changed my life. God's love gives me the courage to face many difficult challenges in my life. And no matter what He allows me to go through, I have experienced His love and faithfulness in many wonderful ways.

I love the Lord, though my love are feeble at times, and I failed the Lord in many ways. But life will be meaningless to me without God. I know that God has a purpose for my life here, even in this bipolar condition. I am thankful that through my struggles with severe depressions, the Lord has led me to know Him in very personal and real way daily. Without God sustaining me, I would not be alive today neither would I be able to be useful. I thank God for His love for me despite my unworthiness. It is my prayer daily that God will help me to know Him and live for Him.

Augustine said in his famous Confessions, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord." Truly, it is in God that I found rest for my soul. And I am comforted by the knowledge that one day when my tasks here are completed, God will take me home to be with Himself, to my eternal rest and fellowship with Him.

This morning we sang one of my favourite portions in Psalm 73 (This Psalm can be sing to the tune Wetherby or Wiltshire which can be downloaded (.mp3) from here. You can also download from Free Reformed Software Page, the Psalter with Tunes or Psalm Tunes Midi Files)

Psalm 73:25-28

Whom have I in the heavens high
but thee, O Lord, alone?
And in the earth whom I desire
besides thee there is none.

My flesh and heart doth faint and fail,
but God doth fail me never:
For of my heart God is the strength
and portion for ever.

For, lo, they that are far from thee
for ever perish shall;
Them that a whoring from thee go
thou hast destroyed all.

But surely it is good for me
that I draw near to God:
In God I trust, that all thy works
I may declare abroad.


Edward Griffin preached a very encouraging sermon titled "Whom have I in heaven but Thee". This is one of my favourite sermons. Edward said the Psalmist, Asaph, had experienced a severe trial from the infirmities of his own heart; which trial, together with the manner in which he was relieved, is described in this beautiful Psalm. He had been “envious at the foolish when” he “saw the prosperity of the wicked,” and had indulged in unworthy complaints against divine providence. But the glory of God’s faithfulness and truth so opened on his soul, and the comparative emptiness of all earthly things, that with more than recovered spirits he exclaimed, “Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee.”

Edward wrote:

Such a temper of supreme delight in God will operate in unreserved and universal submission to divine providence. While God is more beloved than all other objects, the withholding or removal of every thing besides him will not awaken a spirit of unsubmission and rebellion.

While the Christian has such supreme delight in God, he will not be inordinately leaning on friends or wealth or any worldly object for enjoyment. No high expectations will be formed except those which centre in the supreme good. Lightly valuing the things of time and sense, he will scorn the restless pursuits and unsatisfied desires of the covetous; and holding the commands of God in supreme veneration, he will practice deeds of liberal charity.

Sensible that prosperity gives and adversity takes away only those things which are least desirable, neither by prosperity nor adversity will he be greatly moved. Ever assured that God, the supreme good, is safe, he will dismiss all anxieties respecting future changes, and come what will, he will “rejoice evermore.” Calmly resigning the management of all affairs into hands dearer than his own, he passes his days in unruffled serenity, and knows not the distrusts of jealousy nor the uneasiness of unbelief. Having a greater regard for the divine will than for any earthly comfort which that will can bestow, he has learned “both how to abound and to suffer need,” and “in whatsoever state” he is, “therewith to be content.”

The result of this supreme love to God will be faith, trust, self-denial, obedience, and an unreserved consecration of all that we are and have to him, to be disposed of according to his pleasure, and to be employed in his service, how and when and where he is pleased to appoint.

Read the rest of this very encouraging sermon from my Believers Encouragement blog at "Whom have I in heaven but Thee".




My friend, Heng Sau, took this photo at Saipan.





Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73-25-26

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Because He Lives, I can face tomorrow

Michelle posted a video on YouTube on the song "Because He Lives."

Christianity Today has a touching account of how this Song was written by Bill and Gloria Gaither during a very difficult time in their life.

Inspired by the miracle of their son's birth, "Because He Lives" poured out of the Gaithers' grateful hearts. The song clearly affirms the hope believers have in Christ. We can face tomorrow, with all its uncertainty, as we realize that God holds the future and makes life worth living.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:

This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

This beautiful song reminded me once again that because God is with me, I am able to live a meaningful life despite my bipolar disorder and other struggles or difficulties in the many challenges I face in life daily.

In this life, we shall have our portions of ups and downs, wellness and sickness, success and failures, richness and poverties, etc etc. But because God gave His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins, and He rose again on the third day and is now living in Heaven and in our hearts, we can find strength and grace in Him to live for Him daily. In Him we find forgiveness for our sins, and daily grace to live for Him. No matter what He allows us to go through in this life, His love remains unchanging and is especially felt in our most difficult times. It is He that will continue to sustains and strengthen us. And one day when our tasks here are completed, He shall take us home to be with Himself, where there will be no more tears, sickness and sufferings. And we shall enjoy His love and fellowship for ever more. What a blessed hope!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living, just because He lives.

What an encouragement!

*********

Various people has posted some videos on YouTube on this song:

"Because He Lives" with videos of beautiful pictures with Bible verses:

1) "Because He Lives" posted by gervis1


"Because He Lives" sang by writer of this song, The Gaither:

Read Christianity Today's account of how this Song was written by Bill and Gloria Gaither.

1) "Because He Lives" By The Gaither Vocal Band/Mark Lowry posted by hoover4000


2) "Because He Lives" By The Gaither Vocal Band posted by hoover4000

3) "Because He Lives" By The Gaither Trio 1972 posted by hoover4000 (with Gloria explaining the circumstances surrounding the time she wrote the words to "because he lives" and then the gaither trio sings it (from 1972)) (This is very touching. Must see!)

4) "Because He Lives" - Canadian Homecoming posted by willbonner

"Because He Lives" played on piano/organ:

1) Posted by jflowers10

Because He Lives
Words and music by William J. Gaither

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

    Chorus
    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
    Because He lives, all fear is gone;
    Because I know He holds the future,
    And life is worth the living,
    Just because He lives!

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:

This child can face uncertain days because He Lives!

    Chorus
    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
    Because He lives, all fear is gone;
    Because I know He holds the future,
    And life is worth the living,
    Just because He lives!

And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!

    Chorus
    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
    Because He lives, all fear is gone;
    Because I know He holds the future,
    And life is worth the living,
    Just because He lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

This "Because He Lives" is posted by gervis1 on YouTube.





















For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36

Philippians 3
7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted lose for Christ.
8 Yea, doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, but dung, that I may win Christ,
9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness, which is of God by faith:
10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
11 if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Finding comfort in God

Mariposa said my post "The Weaver - A glimpse into the life of Vincent Van Gogh" made her reflect.. made her smile... cry... sigh... then comforting. It is a mercy that the end of it is "comforting"!

Truly if we view our difficulties, sicknesses, pains or sufferings in this life without God, they are rather meaningless, despairing and scary. But if we have God in our life, then we can have the assurance of His love and that all things are working together for His glory and our good - even our pains, sicknesses and sufferings. All these are working together too for our good. And this is our comfort! We may not always understand these things or God's purposes in allowing us to go through them. But we can have the assurance of His love as He assured us in His Words.

This morning, I was reading a portion of a little booklet entitled "Looking Unto Jesus" by Theodore Monod. The following portion brings much encouragement again:

Looking Unto Jesus
And not at our troubles,
to count up their number, to reckon their weight,.... Apart from Jesus trouble does not sanctify, it hardens or it crushes. It produces not patience, but rebellion; not sympathy, but selfishness; not hope (Romans 5:3,4) but despair. It is only under the shadow of the cross that we can appreciate the true weight of our own cross, and accept it each day from His hand, to carry it with love, with gratitude, with joy; and find in it for ourselves and for others a source of blessings.


My diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) last March ie March 2007 helped to see that my extreme mood swings and especially those 11 severe depressive episodes were due to a medical conditions that can be treated. When I realized that my condition is a medical condition, I then realized too that it can happen to anyone, just like diabetes, asthma and hypertension. Knowing this, helps me to accept my condition as from the hands of God.

I look upon my condition both as a thorn in my flesh to humble me and make me more dependant upon God, and also as a mercy from God to enable me to know Him, His love and faithfulness in very real and personal way. I would not have known God or understand His Words better if not because of the severe trials I have been going through over the last 20 years in battling severe depressions. Though depressions are awful beyond words, and I would not want to go through another extensive episode, they do have very sanctifying influences on me. I grow through every of such painful and difficult experiences. When I found that I could not get better and no one understand or sympathize with me, I was made to throw myself wholely upon God. Like Job, I learn to say "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him". Though at times when I was severely depressed and I can't feel God's presence with me at times (due to the nature of depression causing my brain not to receive appropriate messages) God is still with me. It is He that sustains and deliver me eventually.

Looking unto Jesus daily now, gives me the joy and the strength to press on in this pilgrim journey. I live in the uncertainty of whether tomorrow or the next moment I might plunge into severe depression once again (this being the nature of the illness), but I am learning to cast my cares upon God daily. Not to worry, but to trust and pray. I pray for God's preservation daily from severe depression or severe manic. I pray daily for grace to live for God and to be useful to Him and to others. Looking unto God, gives me the courage to press on and find out strength and joy in Him. Just as I need my daily bread, I need my daily grace too. And these come from God alone. I am thankful that I can wake up each day with joy and anticipation. I pray that I may be able remember God's sovereignty in my life always , rejoice in His love and faithfulness, and seek to do His will by His grace.

The remembrance of God's mercies, drive away my anxieties and fears. Truly, our Lord Jesus Christ's grace is sufficient for us as He Who loved us and gave His life for us continues to love and care for us daily, through all the changing scenes of life. What a comfort!




I took this photo of the waves at East Coast Beach, Singapore.




The sea of God's mercy should swallow up our particular afflictions. - Luther