Saturday, March 01, 2008

How to Dance in the Rain

Recently, I reflected much on the various friendships God has given me throughout my life, and the tremendous blessings these friendships have been in helping me to grow and be a more useful person.

But of all the human friendships and relationships on this earth, I think none is so precious as that of one's own spouse. I believe that it is good for husbands and wives to have their circle of friends even after marriage, but ultimately their closest and dearest human friend on earth should be their own spouses. And for both of them, their best Friend is our Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I feel sad that my good friends, whether it be a man or woman, once they are married they can't maintain a close friendship with me anymore. But I also understand that their spouses should be their closest friend on this earth, and their family, their spouse and children will have to take priority over any other relationships in this world. This is my own stand too. If I ever marry in the Lord, I pray that God may enable me to be my husband's best human friend and he mine. And our Lord Jesus Christ must always be most important in our lives, even more than we are to one another. If we have God and the Lord Jesus Christ as the foundation of our love and friendship, it will be a blessed and lasting one, as we will be able to pray and seek Him together, and also serve Him together.

Johnson See, my brother-in-Christ at another church, FERC, shared the following heart-warming article on the relationship between a husband and his wife :

How To Dance In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.


I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are'?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is'.

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life'.

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'




"We do
not remember days,
we remember moments."



(I took the picture of these 2 lovely swans made of flowers at the Sentosa Flower exhibition at Sentosa Island, Singapore.)

In the Bible, God described to us the true unconditional and lasting love that He has exhibited towards us and the same kind of love which He desires us to emulate. This is possible only if we have His Spirit within us and His grace helping and enabling us as we pray and seek His help daily to do so. The word "love" is translated as "charity" in the King James Bible :

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth:


One modern English Bible translation, translated the above passage as:

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its won praises. It isn't arrogant.
5. It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.
6. It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
7. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
8. Love never comes to an end.

Richard Baxter wrote a very useful and biblical view of marriage entitled "The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives towards Each Another".

Baxter also wrote a helpful article for husbands on the "Special Duties of Husbands to their Wives".

The Covenant Family Fellowship has a very useful article on "The Defence of Family Worship.

In the Bible, God describes marriages as reflecting the relationship between our Lord Jesus Christ and the Church.

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.


In the Bible, God teaches us that husbands are to love their wives even as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. Wives are to submit lovingly to their husbands who are the head of the family even as Christ is the head of the Church.

May all Christian marriages strive, by the grace of God, to reflect the loving relationship between Christ and the Church. What a blessed marriage that would be! Surely this will be another great blessing of God and a little taste of heaven on earth :-)

Thank God for husbands / wives who stood by their spouses who have bipolar disorder or other mood disorders. It is a great mercy to be married to a husband/wife who will love us at all times.

With my formal diagnosis of proneness to bipolar disorder in March 2007, I know that it is unlikely for me to marry as there is still such a terrible stigma associated with mood disorder or poor mental health, even among Christians. In my younger days, I have cherished the hope of marrying a Christian man who loves the Lord, and to seek and serve the Lord together with him. But now I am thinking that perhaps it is God's will after all that I should remain single. I cannot bring myself to think of the pain and sufferings my future family may have to go through with me in this mood disorder. Though my condition is currently under control, bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition just like asthma and diabetes. The nature of this mood disorder is such that we will go through the same ground over and over again even though we are on medication and other helps. I pray that now with the knowledge of my actual diagnosis, the Lord will enable me to seek appropriate help and treatment. And by God's mercies, hopefully my downtime may be lesser and lesser, and I may be more functional and able to serve our Lord more effectively.

I realized that as long as we are in the will of God, that is the best for us. So it doesn't matter to me any more whether I am single or married. I will continue to seek and serve the Lord in my various callings, to the best of my ability, as He enables me. I found that, by the goodness and mercies of God, I have no lack of love from family and friends. The Lord in His faithfulness has provided me with family, church brethren and friends who love and care for me in many wonderful ways. These are tokens of God's love for me, and it is enough to sustain me through this pilgrim journey :-)

To God be the glory.
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

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